I wish I was a little bit smarter

For some reason the people I like tend to be SUPER intelligent. I hung out with someone on monday. I spent the majority of my time listening to their intelligent topics and just not knowing how to respond because my comments would have been about as intelligent as “Uhh… I like pie.”

These are people who are seeking higher degrees… have good smarty pants jobs… People who write papers and proposals and grants on their own time. Fuck, I didn’t even write papers for classes in order to pass them, let alone for funsies! Yet, for some reason, these are the people who I want to sit near. Who I want to listen to. Who I want to do dirty things with. Who I want to look at and smell. Who I want to like me back.

I like hearing their thoughts about an obscure book or a new political and social conversation about art or the environment or spending and waste. One has been to Iran, one might go to Iran, one has worked in Dubai, one has ties to the Caribbean islands and has hiked the US extensively. They are just amazing people and I’m just… this lumpy person born and raised in the same area/house. Swaddled in privilege and one dimensional thought.  I wish I could keep up my end of the conversation but in my head all I hear is “LA LA LA BUTTERFLIES LA LA LA”. It’s unfortunate.

laaa la la la la la laaaaaa sparkly things laaaaa la la la la lalaaaa.