dirty talk thought process: bdsm dirty talk events getting off gta orgy queer sex rope woah
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Sunday night was myth. the ening started out rocky. I missed getting into NYC when I wanted to. I went to the pre-myth munch but didn’t meet as many people as I had hoped to. Then we headed over to a friend’s to get ready. Alas there was a typo in the address and instead of walking 2 blocks, we walked 25 blocks. (there and back again, as I was apparently parked across the street form her place). We quickly got ready and rushed out the door. We got to Myth and there was a line and it took a while to get in. Argh. So the day of Sunday really frustrated me and made me feel bummed, but I did NOT want it messing with my night.
The party kinda totally rocked. I was in awe at the fact that everywhere I looked there were people who would interest me, and scenes that were hot to me. I bumped into a few people early on that I talked with for a while. My friend Tiger from back in the firespinning days was there and we talked a bunch. The ginger was with me as my buddy and I kept teasing him through the silk skirt I got him to wear. I orchestrated a suspension for Tiger with MrBlue. While watching them, in the background I kept watching another hot scene with seram wrap and strapons and other stuff. Between that, all the folks around me, and constantly teasing the ginger, I was going nuts, so off to the bathroom we went. I moved the garbage can away from the corner and we made out and fucked. Then He pushed his hand inside of me and got me so close to orgasm it was infuriating. There were other folks all around us walking past to use the bathrooms or sinks, or to find another nook or surface to play on. There was something kinda hot about moving a garbage can so you can fuck up against a wall in a nightclub bathroom in NYC. I mean really… I think the “dirty” factor makes it twisted and hot to me.
We finished up and headed out to wander around the party and see what was happening. I ran into Shair. I had talked with him perviously about playing at the party. i knew he wanted to play but he felt scared/intimidated by the thought of playing in public. We ran back to the bathroom and his Mythbuddy, Am, came too. We pulled an ottoman into the bathroom, I took off my underwear and put them down on the edge between my rear and the ottoman and leaned back. Shair put on a glove and lubed up and pushed his hand inside of me. Am was staying back because they didn’t know me, but I invited them closer and said they didn’t have to feel like a stranger. They did come closer and held a leg which became some petting as well. Next to us was another scene with about 4 people, the center person was hooded and having their thighs beaten between being forced to orgasm. The harley/ivy duo came in and cheered us on for a bit and then ran off again. We eventually broke up partly to see a nazi interrogation scene, and also because I didn’t want to be too sore for work the next morning.
As I was sitting waiting to voyeur the interrogation scene, Eisko came over and asked if they could hurt me, and I said “of course” and so they sat on me and tied my hands back and hurt me a bit. There were some unfortunate limitations because I had to be able to teach a breast and pelvic exam in about 8 hours. All of my backside was ok though so eventually they had me get up and lay across the bar and started sawing me. Yes, I saw SAWING. They had a cross cut saw and they dragged the blade edge against my body… It felt like constantly being scratched in the same place. It became super intense feeling. At first I thought, “well they don’t want to have to deal with open wounds in a place like this, so really, what harm could it do?” But it did manage to hurt a bunch and fuck with my brain a little. (The shower a few hours later HURT SO BAD, and I still have scratches)The last thing they did was grabbed my hair and held my face still firmly against the counter top, and then they ran the saw against the back of my neck. My brain flashed upon the videos I’ve seen of people being beheaded. I couldn’t tell if I was horrified, excited, or turned on. I do know my logic was feeling a bit warp-y though.
I managed to make out with a few people throughout the night and make some friends. It was fantastic. Then I poked my friend Aid and asked if they were still interested as I said we would play, but it was getting late. They were still interested. So they beat the outer parts of my thighs, and my shoulder blades and it hurt. I’ve hit people, I know mean spots… These were mean spots. Considering the limitations I put out though and the time contraint, quick and dirty in shitty spots was the ticket. It was awesome and I look forward to playing with them again when we have more time and more body parts available.
Annnddd then we went home, and I stayed up all night and went to work the next morning and finally went to bed around 4pm the next day next to the gingerboy.
It was lovely.
dirty talk tmi: bdsm dirty talk events getting off queer sex thinking
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We were on a purple and white hippie blanket in the middle of a gently sloping lawn at summer camp. I was wearing my thigh high fishnets, my lace neck corset, and my ox blood red 14 hole doc martin boots. He had on jeans and boots. The sun was shining which offset the cool of the day. The blue sky was filled with lots of puffy clouds. I was filled with his hand. It was not a small hand either. It took some work and some patience to get it all inside of me but he did. After a while he managed to relax and turn me on enough that he was able to push his entire closed fist inside me and pull it out semi-easily. My legs were shaking, a wet spot had formed under me, my throat had gone dry from moaning and whimpering, and the clouds floated past in the deep blue sky.
When it was over we laid facing each other, his hand running up and down the netting on my thigh. We talked and laughed and it was lovely.
Before DO SummerCamp a date was set up which involved providing references, time blocks, hard limits, and a paragraph about why I’d be interested in playing with this particular person. It all seemed exhaustive and annoying considering I’m not the kind of person who schedules dates even with people I *really* want. My style is much more off the cuff. For some reason I went along with it and gave my information as best I could.
Oh wow am I thankful for that.
With exceedingly minimal conversation between me and my play date we met up friday night and talked briefly about limits and what kind of play might happen. I was given the option of being beaten or being tied up and beaten. I chose tied up and beaten as I rarely get much ropey time. I stripped down into my undies and they tied me up into a sideways suspension. My head was tied up and supported by a pair of nylon tights which also killed some of my vision. (Both good and bad, good because I could zone out, bad because I couldn’t see the face of my play partner) I was gently rotated and beaten all over. Punched, caned, grabbed, suffocated… Any part of me that was exposed was hit. It was wonderful. For some reason when I process pain, I laugh. So I was giggling hysterically, which I think threw my partner through a loop. At first they couldn’t tell if I was crying or laughing and they had to ask.
At some points they put their hand over my mouth and nose blocking my breathing. I think a bit of this was brought on by the fact that we had both been in an edge play class that did a lot of breath play. I’d try to calm myself as best as possible, but eventually you need to breathe. My body would take over and my diaphragm would convulse, and eventually I’d get desperate enough to squirm. No one has ever pushed my breathing that far. Most people let up way early. It was exciting. I also got pretty floaty. I’m not a sub-space person but I do get adrenaline and a long building up session of pain will give me a stable floaty feeling. I got to ride that out until after midnight snack when I crashed.
Coming down was an interesting pain. When the ropes went slack and my body picked up weight. It reminded me of coming down after a hook suspension. Oddly painful to come back to earth. I knew my play partner was not form a group that was big on aftercare, and I’m honestly not used to aftercare myself so that worked for me. I did offer assistance with anything and asked if they needed anything. They said they’d just like company as they cleaned up and I was happy to oblige. It was nice to have some conversation after.
I’ve got some fantastic bruises now and a pretty decent crush.
dirty talk thought process: bdsm events introspection thinking
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I went to a TNG party at Paddles. It was ok. This one guy tried hitting on me a few times, and he wasn’t bad looking but I didn’t get a you-seem-fun vibe off him. He was a bit too “I want to spank you”, and less “hey let’s fuckin’ play!”. He didn’t have a lot of conversation outside of “Hi, I’m so and so, what do you like to do?” When really it takes much more then that for me to be interested in telling someone anything about me.
I met this other guy who showed up after hearing rumor of a BDSM club in the city. He was already a little tipsy, and he didn’t seem to know jack shit, but he was cute and nice so I gave him the time of day. He also started talking to be about what others were doing around us, and making some jokes about stuff ‘nillas people talk about, decent small talk. We wound up in a back corner, he pushed me up against a wall and pulled my hair and put his hand on my mouth and spanked my ass and groped my breasts a little. and it started to get a bit too gropey in a corner, and less BDSM in a corner, so I asked him if he ever bunched a person, and he was like, “Oh you like that!? won’t you get a black eye?!” I told him, “No on the chest.” I let him try a few whacks but he was decidedly NOT good at it so I was like, “Ok we don’t have to do that anyway!”. and We made out a bit and it pretty much dissolved into heavy petting, making out and the occasional spanking. He kept trying to rub his hands up against my undies, which I never SAID were off limits, but I didn’t really feel it appropriate or want him to go there, so I pushed him away every time he wandered there. I wish he got the hint after the first 2 times. Eventually he had to leave (it was only like 15 min later). So I gave him a hug and told him about fet life.
Then the first guy was watching most of the scene (which was creepy in it’s own right, because he was openly gawking, grinning, and trying to look me in the eye, in the opening to our dark corner) and after the other guy left, first guy asked me how the scene was and I told him that it was kinda sub-par and I wasn’t really feeling playing for some reason. So the first guy then asks if I wanted to play and I nearly blew up on him for some reason. Instead I told him, “no, I’m not in the mood now and I’m leaving soon.”
I like physical play, but I think I need much more of a dynamic to actually enjoy it. I need ome sort of power play, or roles… It can’t just be gropey mc gropey guy who is using bdsm as an excuse to touch butts.
The next day, I went to a MAST meeting about service. Talk about a 180! this was all about roles, and little to do with the physical. While parts of it totally resonated with me, other pats of it make me itch and chafe. I like the power dynamic, but I LOVE my autonomy, so maybe D/s might be in my future, I don’t think M/s could be.
I want a little from column A and column B.
I got my ass kicked this weekend… Literally, by a 6ft tall guy in hot boots with BDU’s tucked in, a black button up shirt, leather gloves and leather suspenders. He looked quite attractive. The ass kicking was more entertaining then hot. When I laid on my back and kicking/beating on the thighs commenced was when I started to have to work harder to endure which made it really exciting.
The hot part came when he stood with one foot on my thighs, and one foot on my diaphragm. He slowly moved the weight off his back foot and onto the foot on my chest. This caused breathing to become tougher and he rested his elbows on his knee and smiled down at me. I felt swoony for a second there and I don’t think it was the lack of oxygen.
The next day, while casually talking, a very well aimed punch landed int he middle of a raised bruised section of my thighs and it actually made me see stars. I haven’t reacted like that to pain in a long time. It forced me to take a minute to collect myself before going back to normal thought proceses.
The event was good. It was like a large extended version of my normal local friends. I missed seeing all the Philly people. I only went to four classes, Dov’s Hogties class and his Escape artists class, as well as Mollena’s Bitchin’ Bottoms class, and Brittish Lucky Paul’s Electro play class. Dov’s classes made me rethink some things about the way I tie. Mo’s class made me feel better about just being who the fuck I am, which is why I finally wrote an “about” on fetlife. BrittishLuckyPaul’s class was just for funsies becasue I’ve taken a few electro classes before, but ti’s always fun to watch cute girls (IE MissCalico) get tortured. (I’m a sadist…) I also got to feel a rather low voltage taser, which wasn’t that bad.
I spent my first night just sitting at the security desk. It was a LOT of fun. I had a lot of people stopping and talking to me, saying hi to me, giving me hugs. I heckled people, I made new friends. It was really exciting when people I didn’t know would be like, “Oh you’re ammre! I’ve heard about you, your photos on fet are awesome” and that would totally make me feel awkward for a second but also feel really good. I spent a lot of time hanging out with my friend Adam who I kinda felt a slight sexual tension with. Others came over, this guy Brian hung around for a few hours and in my head I labeled him “tall dark and curly”. He was quite nice to look at/listen to/think dirty thoughts about. Apparently, he has been following my twitter for nearly a year now, I had no clue. This other kid Kevin stopped by. I started a running joke that he was 12. He was 20, but looked super young and was kinda talkative and slightly annoying like a little kid. He took my heckling like a champ though so I give him props. The next day he said he turned 13, and since that’s an age he’d apparently accept, He’s now 13. As Adam said, which is worse, a 20 minute painful scene or 8 hours of annoyance and humiliation. If someone can take 8 hours of my annoyance and humiliation they are a champ. So Adam is a champ.
The Next night was fantastic. i got to smack a cute girl around a bit while she was tied up thanks to Blondie. I also got to set up and middle for a violet wand scene with MinaMeow as a top. When she had the contact pad we had a small learning curve with how it could hurt us TOO. More like I leaned back against the chair while holding the wand and the metal rim of the chair zapped me because the ballchain that went to the contact pad was touching the chair. The later mina was dancing around with metallic pompoms and the ballchain was swinging into my shin. It was.. interesting. I had lots of good conversations that night and it was great.
Then I went home at about 3:30am, accidentally woke the dogs, Emily jumped off the bed using mom’s shin as a launching point and tore it open about an inch and a half. I had to clean up the blood puddles she was leaving behind, clean her shin up, bandage it, get her to the hospital and get her taken care of. The adrenaline was pumping hard in me so I wasn’t emotionally reaching or feeling any body pain, but once that dropped, oh god i felt like hammered shit.
I slept till 2 the next day, I went to the event late, and I was pretty useless. I got to have a lovely diner with blondie, aries, shelby, mystic, starfire and a few others though. I just felt so emotionally and physically drained form the night before and everything fucking hurt. I felt like I wanted to cry the whole day because I was strung so tight. I also was jonesing for play, to bottom to someone, but it didn’t happen, partially because I didn’t allow it considering the state my body was in, with a still open surgical wound. so it didn’t end on the best note.
Overall it was kinda small, but it’s tough to take something that was a multi-day event for LOCALS and turn it into a hotel event. Hotel events are normally for the benefit of people traveling from afar. I do give props to the organizers, for as small as it was, it was pretty well done and they worked their asses off. It was a really nice way for m to get back into the scene, and it was a nice way to start off the new year.