dirty talk thought process: bdsm dirty talk events getting off gta orgy queer sex rope woah
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Sunday night was myth. the ening started out rocky. I missed getting into NYC when I wanted to. I went to the pre-myth munch but didn’t meet as many people as I had hoped to. Then we headed over to a friend’s to get ready. Alas there was a typo in the address and instead of walking 2 blocks, we walked 25 blocks. (there and back again, as I was apparently parked across the street form her place). We quickly got ready and rushed out the door. We got to Myth and there was a line and it took a while to get in. Argh. So the day of Sunday really frustrated me and made me feel bummed, but I did NOT want it messing with my night.
The party kinda totally rocked. I was in awe at the fact that everywhere I looked there were people who would interest me, and scenes that were hot to me. I bumped into a few people early on that I talked with for a while. My friend Tiger from back in the firespinning days was there and we talked a bunch. The ginger was with me as my buddy and I kept teasing him through the silk skirt I got him to wear. I orchestrated a suspension for Tiger with MrBlue. While watching them, in the background I kept watching another hot scene with seram wrap and strapons and other stuff. Between that, all the folks around me, and constantly teasing the ginger, I was going nuts, so off to the bathroom we went. I moved the garbage can away from the corner and we made out and fucked. Then He pushed his hand inside of me and got me so close to orgasm it was infuriating. There were other folks all around us walking past to use the bathrooms or sinks, or to find another nook or surface to play on. There was something kinda hot about moving a garbage can so you can fuck up against a wall in a nightclub bathroom in NYC. I mean really… I think the “dirty” factor makes it twisted and hot to me.
We finished up and headed out to wander around the party and see what was happening. I ran into Shair. I had talked with him perviously about playing at the party. i knew he wanted to play but he felt scared/intimidated by the thought of playing in public. We ran back to the bathroom and his Mythbuddy, Am, came too. We pulled an ottoman into the bathroom, I took off my underwear and put them down on the edge between my rear and the ottoman and leaned back. Shair put on a glove and lubed up and pushed his hand inside of me. Am was staying back because they didn’t know me, but I invited them closer and said they didn’t have to feel like a stranger. They did come closer and held a leg which became some petting as well. Next to us was another scene with about 4 people, the center person was hooded and having their thighs beaten between being forced to orgasm. The harley/ivy duo came in and cheered us on for a bit and then ran off again. We eventually broke up partly to see a nazi interrogation scene, and also because I didn’t want to be too sore for work the next morning.
As I was sitting waiting to voyeur the interrogation scene, Eisko came over and asked if they could hurt me, and I said “of course” and so they sat on me and tied my hands back and hurt me a bit. There were some unfortunate limitations because I had to be able to teach a breast and pelvic exam in about 8 hours. All of my backside was ok though so eventually they had me get up and lay across the bar and started sawing me. Yes, I saw SAWING. They had a cross cut saw and they dragged the blade edge against my body… It felt like constantly being scratched in the same place. It became super intense feeling. At first I thought, “well they don’t want to have to deal with open wounds in a place like this, so really, what harm could it do?” But it did manage to hurt a bunch and fuck with my brain a little. (The shower a few hours later HURT SO BAD, and I still have scratches)The last thing they did was grabbed my hair and held my face still firmly against the counter top, and then they ran the saw against the back of my neck. My brain flashed upon the videos I’ve seen of people being beheaded. I couldn’t tell if I was horrified, excited, or turned on. I do know my logic was feeling a bit warp-y though.
I managed to make out with a few people throughout the night and make some friends. It was fantastic. Then I poked my friend Aid and asked if they were still interested as I said we would play, but it was getting late. They were still interested. So they beat the outer parts of my thighs, and my shoulder blades and it hurt. I’ve hit people, I know mean spots… These were mean spots. Considering the limitations I put out though and the time contraint, quick and dirty in shitty spots was the ticket. It was awesome and I look forward to playing with them again when we have more time and more body parts available.
Annnddd then we went home, and I stayed up all night and went to work the next morning and finally went to bed around 4pm the next day next to the gingerboy.
It was lovely.
This post is introspective shit…
1- I’m crass. I’m not a delicate flower. I don’t have delicate thoughts, I’m not lace and filigree. I’m as graceful as a tractor. Being quaint, sitting in a corner reading some epically deep poet is not my thing. Writing is also not my thing. My words won’t fill with you a sense of wonder or quicken your heart. When I write about things there’s moments I’d LOVE to describe, but there’s so many of them I give up and I resort to a basic litany of actions. It changes from, “He bent me over, one hand on my neck pushing his body into mine, I begged him to spank me, because I knew that he loved that and I wanted to fulfill his every need in that moment. He reeled back and slapped my rear with all his might, surprising even himself at his strength. I moaned and whimpered. I’ve been spanked before and it’s never felt as… amazing as this. I was so turned on my body finally understood masochism. I wanted more, It was making me hotter.” to, “He bent me over smacked my ass a bit, pulled out and made me suck it.” I just don’t have the energy and the brains to write completely in detail. I get tired and lost. So my words go from this beautiful detailed picture, to just a crass outline.
2- I’m lonely. I’ve got lots of friends but at the end of the day, they all have people to be intimate with, to love them, to understand them on a deeper level. I’ve got friends, and I’ve got people I can screw, but I don’t have anyone I can be intimate with.
3- I’m not sure I want to fix #2. I’m a cantankerous person. I like being alone (not lonely). I like having my own space. I don’t like having to report to someone where I’m going or who I’m with. I have spent so long without having a deep intimate conversation that I don’t know if I even know how to have one anymore. I don’t understand how to talk to a person without a computer nearby.I don’t want to have to make time for someone. I don’t want to have to drive to their place, put up with their whims. I don’t want to have to pretend they are funny, or I care. I don’t want to have to settle.
4- I’m disassociated with my body. I want people to touch me intimately. I want them to hold, stroke, caress, kiss, breathe me… I want to feel comfortable laying or sitting next to someone and having our arms or legs touch. I don’t want to feel like I have to maintain my boundaries…. but I do. I’m uncomfortable with people touching me intimately. I’m uncomfortable with leaning on people, or being close. It’s very obvious when I work and I have 5 different people touching my cervix, putting their hands deep inside me, looking inside me… and it doesn’t even phase me. This is not my body, it’s just something I’m teaching you on… I’m disassociating.
5- I do think I want a relationship, I just think it’s going to take some (read: A LOT) time.
6- I have high standards. They must be intelligent enough to understand XKCD. They should be kinky/dominant. They should be entertaining. They should prefer playing sports over watching them. They should never refer to their penis as “that dick”. They should like cats. They should be into the burning man thing, ideally the radical self reliance and the participation part. they should like the outdoors. Ideally they should have an AOA or at least know of what that is and be on the way to getting one. They also have to be someone who isn’t awkward or too weird, who i can stand looking at and smelling.
At this rate… I’ll be single forever.
thought process: body image gta health job photos thinking
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Yesterday I taught a personal record number of students yesterday. 14 in one day. That’s 2, 2hour back to back sessions of 7 students each. That’s 14 pelvic exams in about 4 hours…
In my line of work it’s an entertaining thought to sometimes count your students. I’ve had 39 in one week, 14 in one day, probably around 200 people if not more, have been in my vagina.
I’ve lost 6 lbs in 5 weeks. when you’re a bajillion lbs that’s not much, but I guess it’s a start. I also like to blame on my extremely slow progression on the fact that I’m rebuilding muscle now too so… So there!