thought process: daily life introspection job money thinking
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My world isn’t hard. I live a spoiled life. Luck has been good to me.
When I was younger I used to hope I’d enjoy what I had and then die young. That way I wouldn’t have to figure out the future or build long term plans.
Sometimes, I worry that since I’ve been so lucky, that when my luck runs out I won’t have built the coping skills I need.
Now, I want to die young, late in life. I just have to make it there. What should I plan for the future? I haven’t thought very successfully about it.
finances thought process: daily life debt health job money thinking
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Money is one thing that is guaranteed to make me feel ogida. I dislike having to live tightly. I loathe borrowing and owing people money. I get really anxious when I pay bills late.
I was spoiled growing up. My dad was retired with a government pension and my mom was making up around 90k a year. a lot of that she invested, and the rest she spent on us with private school and a lot of crap. When AT&T cut back half their company and then all the stocks went under around 9/11 we were fucked. I wish I had heeded my dad more growing up and was more of a monetary tightwad. I have bad spending habits now, an I don’t have the means to support them.
I make a few payments every month. I pay 100 to my federal school loan, I pay 100 to my private collage loan, I pay 160 for both my mothers and my own cell phone, and I try to give my mom around 200 a month for house costs. So that’s just under 600 there a month I spend. Not including gas, my credit card bill, all the repairs I constantly make on bessie… About a year and a few months ago I put a brand new engine in bessie too, that’s 5k in repairs. I put it on my credit card and haven’t paid it down yet. Every time I think I’m making headway something comes up.
In taxes I owed 250 to federal and 22 fucking dollars to the state. I had worked a contractor job, so the 26k in taxed income didn’t make up for the 4k in non taxed income. Balls. Hopefully this year I will qualify for the stimulus package. Last year I didn’t becasue i was considered dependent on my mother, and I wasn’t under 17 so she couldn’t even get the 200 for me.
Right now I work two job which scrape by on paying the bills. Thank god I don’t have to worry about rent. I have No savings to my name and lot of debt though. No health insurance either. To top it off, I’m a contractor right now and so none of my money is taxed. I’m going to owe a shit ton of money this time next year.