I don’t tend to respond to that for the first time. When someone first changes the declaration of their feelings I dislike reciprocating immediately. “I like you” “I hate you” “I love you” “I long for you” “I am displeased by you”. When someone tells me they like me, my initial reaction is “Oh, how odd.” The standard response is “I like you too.” but I feel really weird saying that because it feels like a stock reply. No thought or feeling has really gone into it. If I told someone I liked them for the first time and their immediate response is “I like you too” I can’t help but doubt them. I will wonder if the response happened simply because they do not DISlike me and it just seemed like the right thing to say.
So when someone says, “I like you” I think “thank you” or “i’m glad” could be a perfectly legitimate response and the first person shouldn’t be butthurt over it. I think statements of feelings are more sincere when they are being felt due to a specific situation and not the stress of a reaction.
TL;DR – socially programmed auto responses are often insincere and will be questioned.
thought process tmi: bdsm body image getting off petpeeves thinking
I’m actually impressed that it doesn’t. It has taken me a LONGLONGLONGLONGLONG time to get to this point. I used to be terrorized for my body, but honestly, when people were mocking me all I could feel was pity for them. I wondered what hurt them or what were they hiding that made them ache to tear someone else down.
Occasionally I goof off on webcam because i like to be a little bit exhibitionist. Today I was playing on some that are associated with some chatrooms. So, I was in a chatroom just to mess with the camera. I wasn’t actually talking or paying attention to the chat. I could see how many people were viewing me, who was viewing me and I had a little instant messenger thing that would relay me private messages. So, I’m goofing off, I show some face, some tits and ass and when I’m no longer entertained or I get hot enough that I actually want to get off, I log off.
So I go to log off and I catch the chat and people talking about, “Oh I wouldn’t be showing my ass off on camera if it was all cottage cheesy and pimpled and bruised like that…” and someone else said, “i get that, but don’t make fun of a heart surgery scar”, “But her pussy and ass looked so loose” So I chime in, “Yep, it’s bruised, it’s large, it’s lumpy, it’s got some pimples. I’ve got scars. I’ve got a loose vagina and ass. I’m fat… big deal. The bruises were earned having fun, the scars were earned in other ways, the loose vagina and ass dosen’t matter because I have the necessary muscle control of them. I’m fine, thanks, but you don’t seem to be. Good luck getting over your insecurities. Night!”
Like for reals, I’m not posting here because they hurt my feelings, but rather becuase I’m astonished they didn’t. I got a message this week from a friend about this new toy they have and the fantasies they’ve had of fucking with me with it. I got some awesome play by another friend on sunday (the bruises). I have a card on my wall filled with names of people who love the crud outta me. Sometimes it’s really AWESOME being me.
My body isn’t up to my standard of beautiful, but it’s my standard of functional. As long as it’s functioning I’m going to have fun with it. THAT is an important lesson I’ve learned.
dirty talk: bdsm body image dirty talk feminism getting off petpeeves queer sex
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By which I mean, hands go inside me easily. Part of me loves that, and part of me is freaked out by it.
On one hand, there’s the world telling me that it’s no fun to fuck a loose pussy. People want it tight. Guys and their GIANTMANLYPENISES are supposed to tear my delicate tight flower apart and all that jazz. While I’d like to say I’m above that, I still have moments where I’m embarrassed I can take so much so easily.
On the other hand. FUCK THEM. I mean for reals. My vagina doesn’t just exist to be all tiny and delicate and pleasurable for you while being painful for me (Don’t get me wrong, that’s totally spankbank material for me but it’s not the sole purpose of it) So If using my vagina to it’s full potential means it’s not the tightest little opening on earth then so be it. I’m gonna have fun with my body.
thought process: bdsm blogs body image daily life feminism health petpeeves privilege thinking
AKA “Why i’m not worried about offending you.”
I’m fat. That’s not going to change. Even if I diet like a fiend and make a huge lifestyle change, I’ll probably never get under 240lbs without some horrible invasive surgery. having said that, something new struck me recently.
I was looking at a picture that compared a girl in a cosplay outfit who was plus size, but not overly so, to another girl playing the same character but who was thin. Both outfits were well done but thinner one was shot in a professional portrait setting, so they probably had a better shot at presenting their costume nicely. The general consensus was that the larger girl was repulsive and should not be out like that. Some people made statements like “whale” or “put her out of her misery”. It seemed as if they were offended by having to look even voluntarily at an image of a large girl, god forbid if they were in the same space as her too!
Then there’s meme roth and all her fat shaming bullshit she’s spewing which is really just a product of our media society. God forbid the fatties live alongside these bastions of thin. As if thin people are never irritating to be near, or never have health problems. God, fat people are made fun of all over, and even if there’s a fat person at a gym they are still made fun of when clearly they are trying to change.
So if simply existing and not being absolutely ashamed of myself, was reason that others are offended, then why should I be so damn worried about offending their delicate sensibilities in other ways?
Combine that with people who simply offend me with no concern… people who talk on the phone (bluetooth headsets in particular) really fucking loud, people who wear perfume that makes me sneeze and have mini asthma attacks, people who wear their pants way too fucking low, people who use homophobic slurs in common language, people who call the entire area of the vulva the vagina, people who sport conservative or stupid bumperstickers, or the ideals behind them… Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh… The list goes on.
Mash all these things together and you have an atmosphere where I stop caring if I’m offending you and I jsut start enjoying myself. I’ll still be a good person. I’ll still hold the door for you, tip well, let you cross the street, and other courteous things, but don’t be suprized if I’m wearing my pro-abortion t-shirt while doing it, or if I’ve got a leash on, or my knees tied together and my panties stuffed in my mouth with tape.
I don’t care if my existence offends you.
HNT thought process: blogs feminism petpeeves privilege thinking
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Besides being someone who enjoys some good ol’ consensual degradation, I’m also a dirty raging feminist, and I’m a bit livid about the whole “I’m pro life so I’m going to murder someone blah blah” thing. It’s not justifiable to kill people because they are an abortion doctor, or a sex worker, or a homosexual, or a minority, or a trans-person… Just fucking knock it off.
the video was first screened for the Women’s Medical Fund, an organization that “believes that without access to abortion services, the right to choose is meaningless,” and aims to provide access to abortions for all women.
(Thanks jezebel.com for this tidbit)
dirty talk thought process: bdsm blogs body image petpeeves thinking
Miss Calico posted about her experience at Speak Up! this last weekend in NYC and in that post she mentioned that we all have messages. This lead me to think about what the hell my message could be and i came up with this.
I don’t want to be seen as a second class citizen in regards to sexuality becasue of my size. Fat people have sex! Fat people have good sex (bad sex too unfortunately). Fat people engage in alternative sexual activities. Fat people can be seen as attractive. Do NOT overlook us.
The MAJOR representation I see of fat people in the BDSM context is in that idea that only the scary old fat people go to dungeons. We are not shown in the greater kink media unless it directly correlated with a fat specific kink. (feeders, crushing, big asses)
I don’t want to be sex’s dirty secret.
Edit to add: I jsut read Mollena’s fat fant and I have to say I love that woman. had I read it an hour ago I would have jsut linked you all there.
When people use the buttons for handicapped doors when they clearly are not handicapped or if they are handicapped but still capable of pulling open the door, and they do not have their arms full. Those fuckers will walk to the door and instead of taking a second to change their momentum to pull the door open or even worse, just to LEAN against the door, on push doors, but they will stop, pres the button and wait for the door to open, wasting electricity and temperature control.
I mean really now…
When people say “kisses” as a goodbye or hello, especially on internet hookup/dating sites.
Would luv 2 meet u. Kisses – NJitalianstud69